Ron Daniels

An open letter to the students at U of T Law:

For those of you who may have forgotten, or may even be too young to remember, it is time we all took a break from exams and the holidays and spend a few minutes to remember our history; to remember why our venerable institution is so venerable. Yes, it is time for us to pay tribute to the great Ron Daniels. A bolder spirit U of T has never known.

No, he may not have had muffins, but Ron Daniels was a trailblazer. He saw beyond academia, beyond education, and even beyond skills training, to the greater glories of fat, fat Bay Street jobs. More than that, Ron Daniels was a visionary; he had the foresight to dream of a better life for U of T students, in a distant land called America….

But even as his bold vision set a course to international recognition and material success, Ron Daniels was a champion of the poor. His vision extended to DLS. To solidify our international glory he was instrumental in providing legal services to the poor. Although he probably didn’t give a damn about the poor, the invisible hand of Ron Daniels helped the homeless avoid jay-walking tickets and ensured that the K-Feds of Toronto would have their sentences downgraded to house arrest. Call it the trickle down effect. As a man only marginally lesser than Daniels, John F. Kennedy, once said, “a rising tide lifts all boats.”

Ron Daniels, thank you for the rising the tide our school still rides. We wait patiently for your return and the subsequent establishment of a thousand semester golden age at U of T Law.

The authors of the U of T Ron Daniels society have prepared a by no means comprehensive list of facts about Ron Daniels. We hold these truths to be sacred and undeniable.

Facts:

1) Ron Daniels was made PARTNOR at Davies in 3 weeks; waiting 2 years is for suckers!

2) DLS once lost a case when Ron Daniels was Dean and he fired everyone, including the volunteers. There was no meeting.

3) Ron Daniels doesn’t want Gowlings, Gowlings wants Ron Daniels.

4) Ron Daniels coached Coach Moach.

5) Benson told Ron Daniels there were not enough holidays, so Ron Daniels made bridge week.

6) Mayo stole the recipe for her muffins from Ron Daniels.

7) Ron Daniels never lost anything but his virginity.

8) Ron Daniels made out with two first year girls during Pub Night. When he left they were so turned on they made out with each other. And that's awesome.

9) Ron Daniels’ package exploded and hurt Mrs. Palsgraf.

10) Ron Daniels knows what you did last summer.

11) Ron Daniels is really that kid from the Paper Chase.

12) Blakes does not mean business, Ron Daniels does.

13) Ron Daniels is not afraid to say he thinks Ewanchuck was wrongly decided.

14) Ron Daniels raised tuition to pay for those sweet roman columns out back of the school.

15) Ron Daniels stole Tank’s sleeves.

16) Tag body spray is based on the scent of Ron Daniels' sweat.

17) When Ron Daniels goes to an OCI, he calls them back.

18) Ron Daniels once published a treatise on the law so definitive it put the entire legal profession out of work. It has been buried somewhere in France by LSUC and other unknown conspirators.

19) Ron Daniels had to incorporate his awesomeness to limit his liability.

20) Ron Daniels once sued a homeless man and was awarded a soiled gym bag, a cigarette butt, and several cans.

21) Ron Daniels carved Bora's Head with his steely gaze.

22) Ron Daniels invented the Sexy Robot, but it was too sexy.

23) Danielle Steele bases all of her characters on Ron Daniels.

24) Ron Daniels doesn't chase ambulances, they come to him.

25) Ron Daniels once invented a time machine, he fathered Ernie Weinrib.

26) Ron Daniels invented the word "go".

27) The lights went out on Halloween because Ron Daniels was humming "Paint it Black".

28) How are world oil prices set? Two words: Ron Daniels.

29) Ron Daniels would be a Supreme Court Justice. If they weren't all sissies.

30) Ron Daniels spells "excellence" Ron Daniels.

31) Moran increased tuition; Ron Daniels took your soul.

32) It's not Christmas until Ron Daniels says so.